Recipe: Asian Cauliflower Fried Rice

I don’t know how it happened, but August rolled around four days ago.  I didn’t realize it until Thursday, when I was doing a seven-miler along Seattle’s waterfront and literally ran into a pack of sailors.  It was brilliantly sunny, I’d forgotten my sunglasses and I was rocking out to an intense Nirvana and Lil’ Wayne playlist that I call “Aggression.”  I was in the zone, taking out a rough day on the sidewalk under my feet.  That’s when it happened.  Dodging tourists is an art that I feel like I’ve become quite masterful at.  Apparently sailors don’t count as tourist though, because I nearly barreled the poor guys over.  Thanks for protecting our country, gentlemen! Now, excuse me while I knock you over.  So embarrassing.

So, it’s apparently fleet week in Seattle, which means it’s also Seafair weekend, which means that the Blue Angels and Hydroplanes are going to be out for the next couple of days, which means that I will be DONE with the Whole 30 in three more days.  This makes me extremely happy.  I have learned a lot about my body, my cravings, and what I need to sustain marathon training and lose weight to hit my goals.  But, I miss chocolate.  And Power Balls. And the occasional guilt-free vodka soda.  I will go into more detail when I complete the challenge, but even though my Whole 30 has not been perfect, I am grateful that I took it on.  Because of Whole 30, I know that my body can’t process grains or dairy well, and that beans make me look like a blimp.  I have cut cravings in half and am one of the cheapest dates on the planet now.  These are all good things.

Before doing the Whole 30, I became quite nervous about what I was going to eat.  Having relied on things like toast and peanut butter for 2-3 meals a day for a very long time, I wasn’t confident that I’d be able to come up with (or even prepare) meals that were delicious and easy.  I stumbled upon an app by one of my favorite bloggers and started cooking my way through all the recipes.  Nom Nom Paleo’s app is visually stunning – her best photography guides you step-by-step through entire recipes – but also provides a host of other features.  It makes your grocery list for you! It links to the blog! It answers questions about Paleo! All the recipes are Whole 30 compliant!  It’s slightly more expensive than I’d traditionally spend on an app, but it was well worth it for a spastic Whole 30 first-timer that hadn’t cooked a thing in over a year.  I loved all the recipes I tried, but was particularly surprised by this one.  Cauliflower rice? Are you serious? I thought this was a joke – it’s not.  It is, in fact, absolutely delicious.  Thank you, Nom Nom… you’ve changed my world.

Asian Cauliflower Fried Rice

Ingredients:

3 bacon slices

1 medium cauliflower

1 small yellow onion, chopped

4 ounces cremini mushrooms, sliced

1 red bell pepper, diced

2 large eggs

Kosher salt

Black pepper

1-inch knob of ginger

1 Tbsp. coconut oil

1-2 Tbsp. coconut aminos (I found this and the coconut vinegar at Whole Foods)

1 tsp. coconut vinegar

2 scallions, thinly sliced

2 Tbsp. cilantro, chopped

Method:

1) Slice up the bacon into small strips and toss into a large skillet over medium heat.  Fry until bacon is nice and crispy, about 10 minutes.

2) While bacon is cooking, prep your veggies.  For the cauliflower: Cut the florets off and place into a food processor or blender.  Pulse until florets are reduced to the size of large grains of rice – be careful not to pulse too much, or the cauliflower will liquify.

3) When bacon is done, remove it from skillet and transfer it to a plate lined with paper towels.

4) With a fork, whisk eggs in a small bowl with salt and pepper to taste.  Pour the whisked eggs into bacon grease and fry a thin egg omelet.  When it is done (about 3-4 minutes), remove egg from the pan, slice or tear it into strips and set on a plate lined with paper towels.

5) Melt coconut oil in a skillet over medium-high.  When oil is hot, add onions and peppers.  Once they are translucent, season with salt and pepper and toss in the sliced mushrooms.  Grate your ginger with a microplane and add to veggies after the mushrooms are browned.  Stir veggies and ginger well to incorporate.

6) Add in the cauliflower “rice” and season with a bit more salt in pepper.  Put a lid on and turn heat to low, cooking for about 5 minutes.  The cauliflower is ready when it’s tender but not mushy.

7) Stir in coconut aminos and vinegar, then top with scallions, cilantro, sliced egg and reserved bacon bits.

Prep Time: 30 minutes

Total Time: 50 minutes

Serves: 6 servings

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